“…….it
is not good that man should be alone; I will make a companion for him, a helper
suited to his needs” (1)
Marriage
union is an institution just like our tertiary institutions. As for our
tertiary institution, you must decide which of them you would want to attend.
This is then followed by application(among other processes) after which you are
admitted upon fulfilling all the requirements. Marriage on the other hand,
requires a decision from you (as a man) having come to a point in your life
where you are sure that it is no longer good that remain alone. You could then
begin the search for a helper suited for you. In your search, you must bear in
mind this truth that “House and riches are the inheritance of fathers; and a
prudent wife is from the LORD” (2). After a productive search comes
application in terms of proposal which must be done in plain words with confidence and humility; this is because “He
who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the LORD”(3).
At
this juncture, you can go no further until your application has been positively
considered and granted by the woman. Legally, as you cannot twist the Admin
officers to admit you, the same way, you must not twist the woman into
accepting the proposal without her personal conviction. You (as a woman) must
decide too. Just as a student of tertiary institution must attend classes, get
necessary materials, study and pass exams in order to progress to the next
level, so also it is important for fiancés in courtship as well as couples in
marriage to overcome their challenges.
However,
while a student in the tertiary institution must scale through all the years (depending
on his course of study) required for the award of the degree (Certificate), for
Marriage, reverse is the case. Marriage is an institute where certificate is
given (awarded) to you even before you are fully admitted into the institution.
What
is the implication of this?
Your
certificate from your tertiary institution says: “We have tested and proved him
for a period of four, five years e.t.c. (as the case may be), and have found
him capable in this particular field of study”
Your
marriage certificate says “we greatly trust and believe in them (the couple)
that they have what it takes to go through this institution forever, come what
may”.
So,
stop saying “I cannot cope with my husband”, the certificate already says you
can! Stop saying “I cannot bear my wife’s behavior any longer”, your marriage
certificate is a proof that you can! Where is your first love? Was there no
love in the first place? Was it lust? Are you no longer seeing what you saw at
the initial stage of your relationship? How has it faded so soon? Whatever it is, the certificate says you have passed
through the institution. It is believed that you’ve got all the instrumentality
to deal with every situation that come your way. Frankly, it may be challenging
at times but it is not a problem. Take a minute and remember this:
“I
_____________________, do take you ___________________, to be my lawfully
wedded wife/husband; to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for
worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to
cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance, and thereto,
I give thee, my troth.”
Do
you remember the above statement? Yes! You made that statement on your wedding day. You know what? Your
partner is the best! Take your eye away from distractions and re-visit your
pool of love, as of the initial stage. Take quality time to swim in that love
pool of deep emotional attraction that led to a mutual ratification of a
lifetime agreement to enroll for the marital school.
If
God was involved at the foundation of your relationship, then you’ve got the best
partner. She is not a problem to you but a ‘HELP’, and he is not a beast but a
‘GOD-KIND OF MAN’ for you. Regardless of what might have transpired, put the
past behind you and embrace your Love again. Being the first to take the step
toward reconciliation does not make you cheap or inferior. It simply means,you
value your relationship more than your ego. Follow this word of truth;
“Wives, understand your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ” (4).
“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for
the church-a love marked by giving, not getting”(5).
1. Genesis
2 verse 18 (LB)
2. Proverbs
19 verse 14 (KJV)
3. Proverbs
18 verse 22 (NIV)
4. Ephesians
5 verse 22 (MSG)
5. Ephesians
5 verse 25 (MSG)
